No Longer Held

I've been meaning to write this down for awhile- a testimony of sorts. But "life" gets in the way, which is mostly just my own procrasination... haha, oh well. Now I've got a story to go with a story.

And it starts now.

A couple months ago, I went to bed one night feeling insecure. I don't remember exactly what was going through my mind at that moment, but I do remember feeling somewhat alone. Laying in bed under my covers, I cried,

"God, could you just hold me tonight?"

 

and in my heart I heard a still small voice reply,

"No."

 

What? I thought as I began to freak out just a little bit.

"What do you mean, 'No'? You held me all those times last fall when I was hurting and broken and so desparately needed someone to cling to.Why won't you hold me now?" I whined.

 

The answer he gave me blew my mind.

 

"I held you then, because you needed to be held. You were hurting, you were broken. But can't you see? You've grown! You can walk now. You no longer need to be held."

 

"Well, God, could you walk beside me then?"

 

I felt his peace that night, and I know he is by my side.

 

I know that I've grown tremendously in my life and relationships in this last year, yet I know I have in no way "arrived." I am not saying that I will never need to be held from this point forward, but I have realized that I am at a different place in my life now and God is challenging me to go to a deeper level.

 

It's like a good father with his child- when a child is young, the father cradles, holds, wipes every tear, kisses every owie, but when the child gets older, not as many owies are kissed, and the child is held only on rare occasions. Does this mean the father loves his child less? Of course not! What this does mean is that the child has grown and the father is lovingly leading the child to a deeper level of maturity and growth to do anything less than that would not be love!

 

This was a wonderful wake-up call to me and I cried at the realization that God had considered there to be growth in my life. What a loving father, to not let me stay in the same place all the time but rather, to call me to the next level- so that I may be everything he has created me to be!

 

Walking by my father's side,

 

Brittaney :)