Socks, a Car, and Paradigm Shifts

Last December, while home in Antioch, I journaled,

I’ve noticed something about myself lately- and it annoys me.

Whenever I’ve been at the store, I’ve pointed out things I want and I’ll say something like, “Oh, if you want to buy me a Christmas present, you can get me this.” Even Alex pointed out this tendency of mine I’ve been having lately.

Maybe I’m wrong, but the reason I think I’ve been like this is that, God, I’m feeling desperate, and not content. I’m feeling needy and probably even a bit selfish.

Where is this coming from? I believe, ultimately, from the fact that I guess I don’t trust you to provide. But here’s the thing- for the most part, I believe you’ll provide for my needs. I’ve seen it done countless time (well, maybe it’s not “countless” yet, but it’s a lot). But as far as my wants- and I’m talking about more than my $0.95 sock wants. (find that story here)

Oh God, this is so selfish and rude and disrespectful. I’m sorry. Yet, at the same time, honestly I’m frustrated.

I guess you also did provide money for me to buy an adapter for my camera lens. (One of my friends had given me money to support my hobby and I put it towards my camera.)

But yeah. I highly dislike relying on people for money.

Could you please show me where I need to be on all of this?

Help me to trust you. No matter what and with EVERYTHING.

I felt like I should, or maybe you even want me to write down what it is that I want. I feel  sort of nervous, and well, selfish and kind of stupid. But here goes:

I proceeded to write down in my journal everything I wanted.

-Dentist bill erased/paid off   -new pair of pants       -purse/camera bag

-billfold (mine is worn out)     -car                              -journal

-$ for starbucks and birthday presents/Christmas presents for friends and family

-a few new socks ;)                 -itouch/iphone                        -cell phone

Help me to rely on you with everything, in everything, and for everything.

And please remind me and help me be content and grateful for all you’ve given.

Love you,

Brittaney

About a month later, I had half of the items on that list.

As of July, I had everything on that list.

Except for one thing- a car.

And honestly, I struggled with this, “Of course it’d be the ‘big ticket’ item.” I thought. But God had shown himself so faithful in all of the other things- camera lenses and an iTouch that I couldn’t help but believe he would be faithful in bringing a car as well.

I knew that my car had to be “on its way”. I told one of my friends about it and whenever he saw me, he would put his hand on top of my head and say, “Car in Jesus’ name!” It became partly a joke, at the same time, I was completely serious. My car was coming, I didn’t know how or when, but I knew God was going to bring it.

And he has.

Two days ago I received from some dear friends of mine, my first car. Yeah, I still can’t quite believe it and I cried when I heard they were going to give it to me for free.

God has shown me, through the process of all of this that he cares. He cares not only for our needs, but for our wants as well. Above all that, he cares for my heart, lovingly showing me his faithfulness- providing for my 95 cent socks and providing my Toyota Prius.

He loves us guys, he really loves us!

I want to encourage you to write down and tell God what you want. I’m not trying to make a “theology” or “step by step” plan out of this, ‘cause I don’t think that’s right or possible. However, I do want to challenge you to think outside of the “box” you may be putting God in and challenge you to embrace a paradigm shift.

God cares for your wants, your desires, your dreams, and your heart. The seemingly little things, he cares about them.

“Why?” You ask.

Because He cares about YOU.

So what are you going to do? You’re going to DREAM BIG. God’s been waiting for you.