sozinha

My first week here in Pitangui, Brazil, I walked to the Jesus Bar (the bar is literally named “Bar of Jesus”) and met Jesus himself.

Okay, maybe I should explain, I was looking for milk and all the other stores were closed. Seriously. Both Jesuses can vouch for me. ;)

Anyways, in conversation with Jesus (the bar owner, not my Lord and Savior), he asked me where my parents were.

“In the United States.” I replied.

“Sozinha?” He asked.

“Yes.” Was my reply and then quickly added that no, I wasn’t really alone (sozinha) but that I lived in community and that it was really good.

Though I said what was true, I walked away, honestly, feeling a little bitter.

“Sozinha.” I thought. “Thanks for reminding me that I’m alone.”

Feeling vulnerable; in a different place, different everything… being hit by the realization that I am actually living in a foreign country. Longing for someone to hold me, someone whose shoulder I could cry on out of exhaustion, which was more out of emotional, mental, and spiritual exhaustion, than it was physical, though being physically exhausted sure didn’t help the whole matter.

As I wrote about this incident in my journal, I wanted to cling to feelings of bitterness and frustration, but- sozinha- I am not.

 

I am not alone.

To say so, to internalize this belief would be an act of injustice.

I am not alone.

Besides having the obvious (Jesus),

I have YOU. Yes, you, the person reading this blog.

I have an army of people, like you, behind me who have sent me, supported me, loved me well, and encouraged me.

How can I say I am alone?

I just talked with one of my dear friends, who prays for me consistently, and in her words (or as close to her words as I can remember),

“Oh Mija,” (“daughter” in Spanish), you have so many people praying for you. I am not talking about hundreds, I am talking about thousands; and even if you didn't have one single person behind you supporting you, you still wouldn't be alone. You have God and He’s the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.”

Thank you.

Thank you, God and thank you dear friends of mine. Some of whom I've never met.

May I walk alongside of you as well?

Please message me, I am serious about this.

We will never walk alone.  

Gratefully yours,

Brittaney :)