Lost and Forgotten Dreams

April 11, 2012

It's amazing how, when you're where God wants you to be, your dreams come true. Including the ones you forgot or thought you no longer had. :)

Today, while working in the maintenance department, one of the guys on staff, Brian, asked me to help him feed the llamas, sheep and goats. I followed him to the barn and he introduced me a couple of the llamas and I got to pet a goat! Haha, no worries, petting a goat was not one of my dreams.

What was one of my dreams, however, was to be a farm girl.

You see, when I was younger, every Sunday I would look at the real estate section in the newspaper and find the houses that had at least a few acres of land (I wanted to live on at least ten acres). There were even a few I cut out and my mom and I would post them on our refrigerator, both dreaming to one day own land and have a farm.  

I wanted to have cows, horses, sheep, chickens, you name it. I thought it’d be so much fun.

As I got older, music became more of a passion of mine and a hobby and I laughed at the fact that I once wanted to be a farm girl. I lost that dream.

Or so I thought.

When feeding the animals today and later, cleaning up after them, I couldn’t help but smile and exclaim, “I feel like such a farm girl!” and I remembered what I once dreamed of.

About a week ago, another staff member, Patrick, came to me and a few other people and asked us to do worship for a local church’s (here in Chico) middle school group. I asked Patrick what he wanted me to do and he said, “Sing.”

 Note: I do not know how to harmonize and I have only ever sung when I either had a solo or had a guitar in hand.

“Sing?” I asked. I don’t just sing… that is way out of my comfort zone. (Yeah, I sing and play guitar, but don’t just sing, I know, I’m weird.) I went along anyways, hoping he didn’t expect much, but willing to try it out.

Last night we practiced and I realized how very awkward it is to sing without something in your hands!  

Tonight we led worship at the youth group and it went well. I can’t say I was the best I could’ve been, but I do believe that God was glorified regardless.

In this whole process, he showed me something… he reminded me that, the very thing I was nervous about and somewhat trying to get out of (singing without doing anything else) is the very thing I so desperately wanted to do at one point in my life.

God reminded me of when I was a junior in high school (about 17 years old) and I wanted to sing on the worship team and be a part of that whole aspect of it, leading people into worship by example and encouragement. Later, I forgot about that dream, thinking I wasn’t good enough. However, in spite of my unbelief and nervousness, God fulfilled that dream tonight.

While I do not foresee myself going into full-time farm work and I would be more comfortable with a guitar in hand next time I sing, it was really amazing to see and experience God fulfilling a couple of my dreams that I forgot or thought I no longer had.

It just goes to show that God knows us better than we know ourselves and that he desires to fulfill the dreams and desires of our hearts.

It also goes to show that when you’re where God wants you to be, things fall into place. I know God called me to be here in Chico, and today’s events were confirmation of that as I was given opportunities to fulfill dreams of mine; opportunities that I may not have had, had I not been here.

Can I just say, God is AMAZING?

Haha, cause he so totally is. :)